I kept my struggle with anorexia hidden

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When I came to college in 2018 here at GVSU, I felt that I was alone and maybe I could finally find my faith.

Unfortunately, I was so lonely and felt so nervous about it that I wasn’t able to do it, so I isolated myself and built up a mindset of crippling unworthiness and self-hate. This became so problematic that I developed a serious eating disorder that resulted in a diagnosis of anorexia just a couple months into the school year.

I was able to keep my struggle with anorexia hidden until it was almost too late.

I was forced to take a medical leave from GV so I could get the level of help I needed, in in-patient care. I remember sitting in my hospital bed, days away from saying goodbye to my family, and realizing no matter how much I tried to shrink myself, it would never satisfy the hole in my heart. I somehow knew deep down, even without having a relationship with Jesus, that God might be the only thing to fill this.

I was at my lowest point and thought, “I have nothing else to lose, so why not just try to understand who God is?” I told myself that if I ever made it out of the hospital and could return to GV, I would find an organization that would help guide me to dive into my faith.

In hindsight, that longing for Jesus was such a gift of grace and invitation from Him.

Campus Ministry is the vessel God used as His good works in my life and is the reason I know Jesus.

I have never felt so fulfilled and worthy in my entire life!

Now, I live my life with Jesus as my priority, everything else to Him is second in life.

Submitted by Scott Stark, Campus Ministry at GVSU

A Diaconal Ministry

  1. Thank you for sharing your struggle. Not many people are bold enough to do so.
    You are worthy of God’s love and the respect of others !

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